Ugliness

I'd be a horrible celebrity. I can't stand stupid shit like rumors and gossip. If I had people following me around taking my picture all the time, I'd be batshit crazy.

There is a person in my life who reminds me of my stance on this every 6 months or so. For the last ten years we've gone back and forth over some pretty trivial shit. For better or worse she's the person who teaches me a little bit more about my ugly side each time she rears her ugly head.

Usually the rants and fights are about who is saying what about whom behind whose back. It's typical small town drama, really. However, it's gotten kind of out of hand. We've both accused each other of internet harassment, and one of us has threatened to get a lawyer.

Why do I suddenly feel like an old rivalry just took a desperate and dangerous turn?

In an effort to bury the hatchet (which has been attempted about a million times and counting), we've decided to both shut the fuck up and see what happens.

Personally, I don't think anything will as long as we keep the truce, right?

But all this has me thinking... how ugly can one person be? I'm not talking about physical ugliness (though there are a lot of ugos out there), no I'm talking about the downright shameful thoughts and actions that human beings can have.

I'm not innocent. In fact I'm rather guilty. I've said some pretty nasty things about this person... in the past... like years ago. Still, I did say them and I'm not particularly proud of it. She, too, has made a bed that she is now lying in. We've both stooped to low levels and have flung metaphorical shit at each other.

Here's what I learned today... I'm just as capable of falling for psychological warfare when it comes to gossip and petty shit. I need to work on that.